Hey lovely blog readers!
My side project, Millennials Magazine, released its second issue today. I co-edited the 20 submissions we selected and coded the entire site, so you should check it out! I also wrote two pieces:
One is an updated version of “Long Division,” which originally appeared on this blog.
The other is about watching my baby sister grow up from 3,000 miles away through videochat.
In May I packed up all of my belongings in trash bags and threw them into the back of my father’s car. I wasn’t sad when the door to my apartment slammed, which surprised me. Who I was in New York isn’t who I am, at least not now, not anymore. When we got to New Jersey we pulled off into a rest stop so I could get a cup of coffee; it was a bright May morning and the sun was already pressing marks into my shoulders. I smoked a cigarette in the parking lot and watched the cars funnel into the Holland Tunnel. I knew things would be different from then on, but in a good way, in the way I wanted.
In June, two weeks of staying with my parents made me restless. I grew eager and selfish and flew to San Francisco. For the first week at my new job I tried to wear high heels because it seemed like something working women did in a very easy and confident manner. By midday I’d be complaining and ‘massaging my arches.’ I haven’t worn them since.
In July I tried to say “yes” a lot more than I usually do, when co-workers asked if I wanted to get after work drinks, when men asked if they could take me for coffee. There was the boy from Santa Clara and the man who founded his own hacking space; there was the Internet copyright lawyer and the guy from the library; there was the Dutch Apple designer and the physics grad student. I got tired of blowdrying my hair, of faking laughter in small restaurants, of saying “yes.” I preferred having my big bed to myself, performing my routines and rituals that left no room for compromise.
It is colder here than I thought it would be, but much, much sunnier.